Friday, 22 April 2011

The Circle of (My Wardrobe's) Life...

Oxfam to Ofam, Barnardos to Barnardos. All clothes reach the end of their time, and we must accept it with grace and dignity.

Unless you're me and still own a 6 inch long sequin boob tube from 1994 'for layering'. I'm not particularly good at the old charity-shop-clear-out. I have to be in a very particular mood, and even then I have to cajole and force myself. Then fight against the tide of over-think that has me wondering 'but what if...?'  about things I am definitely going to be able to replace, should the (deeply unlikely) situation arise where an item in that colour/size/style becomes vital to the well being of the universe.

But I have to do it. And do it, I did. The first thing I did was get out all my tops and non-vintage-or-designer dresses and arrange them in an orderly manner on my bed:

And that's not all...
Yes, I have a problem.
But I'm dealing with it.
You will note, that pile was just the little shelves.
Yes, I am like a nanna who puts soap in her wardrobe.
And that doesn't include the spare-room rail...
That was the easy part (I lie, I was already wondering about how to rescue my 'Don't hassle the Hof' Baywatch t-shirt). I called my sister for advice: she said keep it for housework/gardening -I like this steady thinking, I already keep some brandy to hand for medicinal purposes, natch. I don't even have a garden, but I can wear it to drink beer on the fire escape (so USA/NYC. Or so LDN/NW10, which is closer to the truth, all be told).

Anyway, I haven't got that many photos of the painful process. I did manage to fill an over sized Uniqlo carrier bag and one of those string-handled Jane Norman ones. Some items I have already 'homed' with friends and relatives (well, they might not go to a suitable home otherwise- OK, OK, I personify my clothes). I have a handful of shots with quips from His Lordship, enjoy:

You can imagine the look of disapproval on his face
at my not-always-vintage tat using this photographic image, if you wish.

Quoth His Lordship: "It was not acceptable in the 80s, nor is it acceptable today."

"Festival chic? Festival s**t more like, bet she's got no knickers on..."
"Cider and Black's half price down the student bar on 80s metal night..."
(NB: if this the case I would be down the local uni like a shot. Epic sarcasm fail, my love, epic sarcasm fail).
We differed on this one: I remember it in its glory-days of 80s metallic fantasy.
Husband prefers it 'worn in' and advised me to match it with equally worn-in 70s denim shorts.
There was one final item I wanted to share. This one was not given away. It's my favourite 70s jersey tank top (i.e. a vest) - St Michael and just perfect 70s earth tones. With a rather un-PC logo as part of the design:

St Michael: a good, retro, family brand
You'll note that with the innocent adverts for 'ice cold drinks', 'icecream'
and 'parking' my shirt also encourages the purchase of 'cigarettes'.
You wouldn't get that today, probably for the best eh?
So, am I alone in my struggles? Do others donate willy-nilly? Does anyone else have a partner who has way more taste and vintage purity than they? And, would you like some lotion for your stinging eyes after seeing my disgraceful wardrobe hell...?

Wishing y'all a blessed Holy Week and a very happy Easter!


  1. Haha. I'm doing much the same today actually. But I've had many, MANY clearouts in recent years so nothing massively embarrassing. I tend to just get rid of tired or boring clothes...because they bring me down and make me feel the same!

  2. I used to find it hard to get rid of clothing - I still have basics that I wore 15 years ago!!!! However, now I'm slowly changing my style it's a lot easier to say goodbye to things I don't like any more. I did manage to ebay/car boot quite a few things recently.

  3. I hate giving my clothes away, but much like you I have to force myself to do so. I try to at least twice a year. And I'm overdue. I always think Oh what if I go to there, or what if I loose weight (which I never will). Glad I'm not the only one who personifies their clothes though!

  4. I am an obsessive clear- outer. I'll sell my vintage only to replace with better bits tho!

  5. I have been so thorough with clearing out old clothes that I have left myself with virtually nothing to wear. Again. It would appear all my clothes are old (not the interesting vintage kind, just the weirdly stretched, wider than they are long kind). I really need to buy some new stuff but the prospect is too appalling to contemplete now I've gone completely off the high street.

    I'd totally wear your tabs pushing vest though

  6. I do clear out my clothes and like Lakota donty have a lot seem to wear the same things too often I have heaps of vintage but dont wear it )not my style or doesnt fit) I reckon a few of your things would have been snapped up quick smart

  7. Hi there-well done on your big clearout, I've been doing much the same and it does make you feel so much better to declutter!! Love the old St Michael top, I had a similar one in blue, but I gave it away ;-( Happy Easter xx

  8. ha! you should see my closet,nothing fits anymore.
    that picture of his lordship, he is rather dapper hombre.
    have a great weekend amor.

  9. I've also been having my spring clear out right through the house, I do one car boot sale then what's left goes to the local charity shops, I'm always amazed by how much "stuff" I manage to collect!!

  10. What a brilliant clearout! When I come back from travelling I always have a massive declutter not only to pay for my next trip but also because I'm ashamed of having so much when many people I meet in India have nothing.
    My Mum had that very same St Michael vest in the 70's, takes me back a bit. xxx

  11. I make myself have a clear out every now and then. Force myself.l puck on anything that doesn't fit, or l don't have anything to go with, or isn't flattering. Have a dressing up session, it helps! x

  12. I am due a big clear out but am aiming to do it at the start of June. I love taking clothes to the charity shop and knowing that I am doing something useful with my unwanted clothes. Your 1994 boob tube for layering comment in particular made me smile :-)

  13. I have bagloads of stuff that no longer fits me, but cannot bring myself to take to charity shop. Just in case.

    Just in case I lose 2 stone....

    Ali x

  14. I'm always impressed with His Lordships comments!
    Sequin boob tube? I so wish I had one.Le sigh.
    Um,I have a lot of clothes,and do occassionally have a clear out,but I find it is getting less and less that there's anything I don't want or require.......G,on the other hand,needs a good dung out in his wardrobe.
    O,regarding the Good Life,it's Margo all the way for me! What a great show.I love Penelope Keith,actually,and she was fab in To the Manor Born too!
    O,and Lady Cherry's idea for a dress up session is a good one!

  15. ha ha I am always having a clear out lol one day I will end up with no clothes!


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