Nunc bibendum volutpat terrere

*Now we drink spooky drinks.

His Lordship has been snooty and unreasonable about this post, dubbing it 'gimmicky', 'low-brow' and 'twaddle'. Like some alcoholic RSPCA advert he abhors the connection between any cocktail and a specific date, proposing that they are something to be celebrated every day. Anyway, he has refused to contribute to my 'novelty post' and is thus in the blog-house for now. So I am writing it. I don't know much about the finest ingredients, nor can I enlighten you with obscure anecdotes, I've just chosen some recipes for my top 5 Halloween cocktails, innit.




5) The Bloody Mary
If you say 'Bloody Mary' to a bar tender 5 times and spin around, you fall over.

I prefer mine with no ice, and no solid celery. Raw celery is an abomination and has no place in civilised society, sometimes I stir it with a twiglet, too. Nom.

My method is:

1. Take a glass 'water' jug, chill it for 30 minutes or so in the freezer then fill it 4 fingers up the side with Stolichnaya Red
2. Take a carton of very cold fresh tomato juice. Shake it very well so the thickness goes right through. pour over the vodka and stir.
3. If you have any dry sherry, add just a dash now, or you could use Angastura Bitters.
4. Add 2 standard tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce. Stir well.
5. Add Encona Hot Pepper Sauce to taste. This is thicker than Tabasco and needs a good stir again.
6. Garnish with cucumber and a sprinkle of paprika.
7. What, you thought this was to share? Nah, hand me those novelty straws...

Actually, this makes 4 servings.

4) Victorian Mojito

Because Victorian is one step away from goths and creepy dolls.

Photo from CUT OUT AND KEEP recipe by Cat Morley

I tend to stick to the recipe linked to above, however if you use fizzy apple juice it adds a light twist to the recipe. I am considering 'autumning it up' with berry fruits in place of lime and some cinnamon. I'll feed back on the results.

3) Bacardi and Dr Pepper

Only because it makes me act really scary. Really scary. I'll tell you the story sometime: only if you buy me one. But don't.

2) Cider Punch

Note to readers from over the pond; I mean proper cider. Hard cider. Ciderdelica.

What you do is get yourself some cider. Either go and choose some from Middle Farm, or grab yourself some Aspalls. Warm it gently in a pan with half as much apple juice, a good slug of Brandy or Calvados, a teaspoon of allspice, a couple of drops of Vanilla extract and two spoons full of brown sugar. Heat it gently; you don't want to burn off any of the boozy goodness. Serve it in chunky mugs or heatproof glasses, with a slice of apple to garnish...and tell those pesky trick-or-treaters to get orf your land!

1) The Viking Funeral

(C) His Lordship. He's suddenly perked up and decided to contribute, knocking my suggestion of an Irish Disco Biscuit (green, hence spooky).

The Viking funeral is something my so-called better half invented at university. It varies from person to person, but it is, essentially:

• A double shot of vodka
• A double shot of 'your' drink (the one that makes you tres tipsy)
• Ice cold Coke

Funnily enough this cocktail never made it into any trendy mixologists books, nor to the bar areas of any five star hotels. But I tell you, this is apt for Halloween; it'll keep the cold out, and one too many and you'll be seeing spooky spirits and waking up, mysteriously confused as to what happened the night before.

Bar that, my absolute number one cocktail for Halloween would be a Palinka blood punch; sweet red wine, lemonade, red grape juice and a shot of the obscure Central European spirit. For why? Well, Palinka comes from Transylvania. We got ourselves some kerítésszaggató (home brew) on our honeymoon...which was, funnily enough, Halloween last year. How romantic. Might have to crack it out for the ole' anniversary next week!

Err no thanks. Bacardi and Dr Pepper?
What do you mean no way...?

How do you warm your cockles on a winter night?