Standing with my arms stuck out...

...waiting for someone to tag me free. Vain Glory Sinner tagged me with an 'all about you' quiz.

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM JOB?

What I do now. It's a strange semi-teaching, semi-management job, I like both bits and I like 'my' kids.

When I was a kid meself I wanted to be a chef and/or an actor. Then I wanted to be a director. I trained and worked in theatre for a while before I realised (a) it's not economically viable when you do freak-assy arty stuff like me (b) compared to 14 year olds, a significant proportion of actors are slightly childish (c) I liked working in an environment most people find 'challenging' i.e. with stroppy kids (that's PC for 'icky' or 'eek!') and I was like 'yeaaaahh'.

At school I was always told to write or work in geography. I write for enjoyment and the other... thing... Well, I believe it involves mud and sighting poles. Yeah righto Mr careers officer.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FRAGRANCE FOR AUTUMN/WINTER AND SPRING/SUMMER?

I've been wearing Halloween (day) and Poison (night) for the last couple of years. In the middle of summer I wear (gasp) K.A.T.Y.P.R.I.C.E. Stunning (the shame, the shame... but seriously it's got that whole fruity/oriential thing in 'light'- and it costs a tenner every time she does something to fall out of favour with the Take-A-Break-ers).

I like this perfume so much I ask for it instead of booze when mates go to spain!!

It makes you feel... sturdy. I've seen her. Small but powerful.

In an attempt to breed some good taste in my grubby little nostrils, my l'il sister gave me some Very Hollywood. Very delicious to smell and 50s-kitsch-fabulous:

HOW DO YOU TAKE YOUR TEA/COFFEE?

Strong.

Starbucks is for weaklings, I start with Nero if there's nothing nearby with French or Italian peeps getting wired.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST IMPORTANT BEAUTY SECRET?

Err. Not sure. I'm terrible, I wash my face with basic soap and break every rule. I'm playing fast and loose with my mum's fresh-faced genes and I know some time I'll lose.

If you don't need to, avoid drying or heating your hair if it's dyed. That way you can style like mad when you want, guilt free. Sleepy rollers or rags for curls, little gal braids for crimps and a woolly hat (yep!) for poker straight, all overnight.

If you look all tight and haggard after a night out, drink a pint of water and have a steamy bath. The skin is rehydrated and looks plump again. A cold teaspoon under the eyes helps this too.

If you have no foundation and want a made-up look (ie accidental multiple-day party. Gah, not for me for the last few years) pad your face with pressed powder when it's still ever-so-ever-so-slighty damp from moisturiser.

OOH, woop woop, got meself three. And one is actually healthful!

IF YOU HAD AN ALL-EXPENSES PAID VACATION ANYWHERE - WHERE WOULD YOU GO?

Japan- well, Tokyo. This is a recommendation from my twinny who has travelled the world told me it was like a 'walk inside your brain'. Not a sweeping statement- she meant a walk inside my brain. It's got ancient, modern, depth, vacuosity, an obsessive work ethic and a healthy drinking scene. And:

Yeah that or Vegas, because of the all-you-can-eat and the fact they make CSI there. But at a dollar for a buffet, why would I need all inclusive?

IF A GENIE POPPED UP IN YOUR LAP RIGHT NOW AND OFFERED YOU THREE WISHES - WHAT WOULD THEY BE?

1) Find a half decent house in our- His Lordship and my- price range, in the right area.

2) Twinnie to grab a top creative job/business in this l'il ole recession that forces v clever folk to do boring mortgage jobs.

3) Good hair. For life.

IF YOU COULD ONLY HAVE BREAKFAST, LUNCH, DINNER OR DESSERT FOODS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE - WHICH WOULD YOU PICK?

Awww man. I heart my food. Even back in the day when I though a few hundred calories could keep my skinny ass going, I ate a few hundred calories of yummy.

I'm gonna go for dinner and play semantics. I'm Southern but Northern-in-law now, and they call lunch dinner. Mwahahaha! I can have both! Oh, OK, that is cheating. But it would probably be dinner anyway, as I could still sample a vast variety of different cuisines alongside classics like Christmas Dinner. Plus it is legitimately three courses.

I should work in creative solutions or something la de da like that. Have some dinner pics:

To quote The Hitcher: "EELZ"

Quick, everyone serve themselves before the ginger chick gets here.
She'll cane the lot!!

I love dinner in all it's sweet sweet forms!

Tag y'all back, innit.

IF YOU WERE HELLO KITTY - WHAT COLOUR HAIR BOW WOULD YOU WEAR?

If I was Hello Kitty surely I would own all my own bows? Oh, OK, my fingerless paws couldn't change them. I would be this Kitty:

Mermaid Kitty. NOT camp kitty. But both would
fit into my crew on a night out in Brighton so meh.

I would have this car:

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE WHEN IT COMES TO MAKEUP?

Mimsy, half assed colour- not the look, the smug 'mother superior I'm not shallow like a fashion victim' thing that often goes with it. If you're gonna do it, be it tango-and-piled-high-black-hair, perfect-50s-china-doll or 80s-colour, do it. Or at least create a natural base and nod to the look within it.

Edited to make me seem less rage-ful. Essentially a rant at holier than thou types who assume anyone who isn't utter M&S middle-road boring (ie indie kids, 'chavs'- hate that word, vintage ladies...) and goes hard for a look is shallow and inherently sad/unfulfilled.

But like I said, it's the attitude - unfortunately the look just skims too close to that attitude. Strangely it's the attitude that creates that look - not the make-up alone.

IF YOU COULD ONLY WEAR ONE PIECE OF JEWELLERY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE - WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Probably my silver torque bracelet. Put it on when I was 9, haven't taken it off yet. Gold outfit? Gold cuff over it: I kid you not.

Luckily I have skinny wrists.

WHAT TALENT DO YOU WISH YOU HAD?

Buls***ing people into instant gravitas. For various reasons (ethics mainly, accent, the fact I look like a 50s Butlins barmaid) I don't/can't do it. It wastes about 10 minutes a day whenever I meet an arrogant sort-and-sort, what's more I don't like put-downs so I have to just be efficient and so forth. What a drag. Maggie T was evil but she had the instant thang going on- how do we reclaim it for good.

WHICH PRODUCT WOULD YOU CONTINUE TO REPURCHASE?

Nivea. Can be used for cleansing and moisturising - just perfect. Simple and perfect.

IF YOU COULD LOOK INTO THE FUTURE WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW?

Not that much. Maybe if zombies take over. I fear this often.

WHO IS YOUR BIGGEST CELEBRITY CRUSH? - INCLUDE PICTURE

A picture? Have a few. Seeing him literally makes me smile. I'm grinning like a loon right now. Art in human form:

Oh dear, getting all teenage and googling... he looks a but like His Lordship here.

I like pirates too, and highwaymen. They should do a P.O.T.C. on horseback.

WHAT MADE YOU START A BLOG?

I read blogs, I liked blogs, I liked reading. Some mates I trust said a blog by me would be amusing(I took that to mean funny 'haha' not funny 'back away and dodge out the room'). So I plucked up courage and wrote me own first post...