Sale Rail

It seems that every shop is struggling to sell their stock right now, during these tough times. I have been working hard to support the economy but venturing onto the high street. Which I don't normally do: it's either uber thrift at the local FARA, browsing EBay or splurging on expensive-things-to-keep at Bicester Village for me... but never fear, I wasn't paying full price. This was the sales.

I had to go, show the newbies how it's really done:

Maxi, £7 in H&M
Hair flower/brooches, £1 each in New Look
Monkey clip-on-hugger, stylist's own.

I think Florrie's floral tea party has infiltrated my mind: I was always more of a block colour person but I am getting increasingly drawn into patterns and florals. This bright, beachy print has something of an 80s Miami vibe to it, but without any skin tightness. Phew.

Up close it's a bit 'Keeping Up Appearances'- but it works
on the whole maxi.

I seem to have gone mad for maxis of late. I know shortarses aren't supposed to wear them blah blah, boring fashion advice blah... what do they think wedges were invented for? This next one is Indian-inspired- on the dummy it looked classy and luxurious, but on me looks deliciously 'Northern girl clubbing' mwhahaha. I am becoming increasingly drawn to this look as a way of being a little bit bling whilst keeping excess flesh covered up. Appropriate, but reassuringly non-classy. Now, Jeeves, fetch one the Fake Bake and the big, big hair rollers...

£15 in Krisp. Clip On Monkey despairs. Husband asked
if this is for trips up to his homeland (AKA: North Of Watford).

When buying embellished items in the sales, always check with care. There's nothing worse than getting home and finding a whacking great gem missing from the front of your frock. Usually, you can't find a matching one in the local craft shop, so have to unpick ALL of them and replace them all: time wasted, bargain offset by the price of the new beads. Luckily, I have an eagle eye and a steely grip on the best frock.

Even I concede that a necklace with this
might be 'too much'.

Finally, some things that aren't maxis. One is still a frock though - total bargain from Matalan. I think of it as 'slutty mid century housewife' in style. Being an English teacher, the words "I'm lookin for Curley" spring to mind whenever I try it on.

What you can't see it the high lycra content.
£7, Matalan.

More cleavage, vicar?

The little gold bead annoys me intensely, it reminds me of cheap Christmas tree decorations. Which I love: on a tree, at Christmas. I am going to snip it off and wear my new Acorn & Will brooch (not in the sale but a total bargain nevertheless):

Finally, I snapped up this Pocahontas-style smock top from River Island. The cheeky bloke behind the till looked me up and down and said 'you do know it's a size 8?'. Erm yes, just because I'm older than most people in here doesn't automatically change my clothes size, young man, and by the way your trousers appear to be falling down and exposing your arse...

And just to prove it fits, a photo of me larking around doing a faux-Hello!-shoot at the Museum of 51 on the South Bank. In a room my twin sister described at 'Perdita Heaven', and she was right. I've colourised it slightly to help you normal folk see the world through my eyes:

So, have you found any bargains recently? Are you saving your pennies wisely, or dipping your toe into the messy, messy world of the sale rails...? Any top tips for bargains, share 'em below!