Der-di-det-der der-di-dar der-di-dit-der der-di-dar-dar-dar
The proper writer on this blog having made a Lenten sacrifice of all shopping and thus being unable to crow about her latest bargains I’ve been drafted in to describe my latest efforts to buy a new coat. Please bear with me as I am obviously the drinking correspondent and this is a little out of my field.
In short I’ve been looking for a coat one can wear in the rain without smelling like an old sheep – leather then, not tweed. Due to financial embarrassment I turned to the eBay to try and bag a bargain and there was a quite the range to choose from. The initial choices were, of course, colour and style, I swiftly discounted biker jackets for being far too “Bros” and black because as I have a nasty tendency to resemble a member of the CID a dark blouson on me screams “I’m down with the kids now reveal your nefarious conspiracies to me, you slaaag”. Brown it was and so to type: as a man whose views of the world were warped by the eighties there is only way to go and that was Indiana Jones (hence the subhead, try repeating the phonetics above and you’ll see!). Brown leather, when new, does tend to resemble the seats from a vintage Jaguar and so I searched for the most used and generally beaten up examples. The keen eyed reader will note that all the examples given below are in size “large”, the simple reason for this is that I’m a big fat lump, I’m given to understand that these days they even make clothes for the more waif-like chap as well.
Some examples of my search:
Needs repairs but pleasantly knackered
Oasis cover band!
Battle of Britain\Top Gear presenter
The one I may have bought had I noticed it in time, damnit!
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/VINTAGE-1930s-BROWN-GERMAN-LEATHER-TRENCH-COAT-LARGE-/400190802072?pt=Men_s_Clothes&hash=item5d2d3b0898 Less CID, more Gestapo
I’ve not included a link to my actual purchase because firstly I apparently upped my bid in my sleep and paid more than I intended (stupid going to sleep after too much cheap Italian wine, stupid smartphone, stupid somnambulism!) and secondly I’m not sure if it will look any good on but I’m sure you’ll be kept apprised of any laughing mockery when normal service is resumed and her indoors returns to posting doggerel.